What Would Mayberry Do?

Wall of Shame

Let’s give them something to talk about… 

–Shelby James covering Bonnie Raitt

 

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Two new sections, Wall of Shame and Wall of Fame were added to the paper in place of the Sports and Education pages, which no one seemed to be reading according to the latest online survey.   The talk of the town had become Mayberry has a crooked sheriff and people were beginning to ask themselves, “What are we going to do about it?”

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(From the Discussion section of W.W.M.D. online)

From:  blinville56

Location: Williamsburg, KY

I really like the direction this publication is taking!  It has become more than just a school newspaper.  Albeit, that happened the day it went underground.  But the staff seems to be taking on larger issues that have affected us all over the years.  It’s hard to believe that a bunch of kids are doing this.  I so look forward to the next run.

Reply: Ellie.Munson@wwmd.com.  Thank you blinville56 for your support.  Spread the word about us.  We’re digging up the truth!

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From:  stuckyonline

Location: Williamsburg, KY

–I’m sorry folks, but all this talk about change is bogus.  This dumpy little town is never gonna change no matter how many corrupt politicians and such get locked up.  It’s like Wack-a-Mole.  When one goes down, another pops up.  It’s not about busting people for drugs, it’s about legalizing liquor!  Booze will start bringing jobs and businesses to this town.  This B.S. about W-burg being a moist county is just that.  B.S.  If I want a drink, I have to go to a restaurant.  I can’t go to a bar and watch the Wildcats play and have a few beers like everybody else in this country.  So until we join the rest of the 21st century and stop trying to live prohibition, we won’t see a lick of change.

Reply: delray.phillips@wwmd.com.  You make a good point Stucky!  I think a lot of people would join you for a few beers during the next Wildcats bball game.  Maybe even some of the tweakers would come in from the cold as well.

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From:  simcityfolks81

Location: Williamsburg, KY

–Jesse, About your article about the break-in at the sheriff’s office– I was surprised to see you write about it the way you did. That took guts/balls, kid. We all know Bertrand is dirty, but it seems it has gone on for so long that everybody just got used to his shenanigans. Way to take a stand. Come election time, we’ll stand with you and vote him out. Also, where can I get one of those t-shirts. I ain’t got a credit card. Oh, and way to stick it to McCreasy and go rogue with this here paper. I hated that dude when I was in school!

Reply: jesse.wasko@wwmd.com.  Thank you simcityfolks81 for your support.  We thought it was a strange coincidence that there was a break-in the day after we made our open records request. The Consignment Shoppe in town is where you can get a t-shirt. they cost $13 bucks there.

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From:  donniebriscoe96

Location:  Williamsburg, KY

–Hey, Jesse!  When Shelby breaks up with you, you mind if I ask her out?

Reply: shelby.james@wwmd.com.  Donnie, I’m flattered, but there is only one man for me (at least for now).  Should anything ever happen to my Wasko man, like if he were to get bumped off by our Roscoe P. Coltrane, then I’ll consider it (for a moment, before I say no).

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From:  anonymous citizen

Location:  Unknown

–I hope and pray that what you’re doing sheds some light on this and that something can be done about the corruption in our town.  It seems everybody in any kind of office is on Bertrand’s dole.

Reply: shelby.james@wwmd.com.  If you have credible, verifiable information, please contact me via email.  You’re anonymity will stand.

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From:  crazy town

Location: Corbin, KY

–Hey, village idiots of Williamsburg.  Get this through your thick skulls.  Mayberry is fiction! It ain’t never gonna be.  Bertrand ain’t your Andy Tayler.  Get over it and go smoke some ice… then your eyes be opened to a whole new world.

Reply:  stuckyonline

–Dear Sir Crazy Town:  I’ve always thought it was funny how people will call other people the very thing that they are.  In other words, “I know you are, but what am I?”  Leave these kids alone.  They are great and are reminding us all of what this country is all about and what our town once was about, and could be again.  All it takes is a little courage and vision.  The vision of Mayberry and what could be is real.  I’m a t-shirt wearing member.  So, why don’t you get a t-shirt.  Support this!  Put down your pipe!  Oh, and learn how to spell.

Reply:  kylie.girl@wwmd.com

Sir Crazy Town?  I like the sarcastic formality.  Thanks again for your support.  And crazy town, meth = death.  When you’re ready to get off of it, there is help.  See drug-rehabs.org for confidential help.

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From: GrandmaJames@comcast.com

Location:  Williamsburg, KY

–To my Shelby girl and the rest of the Mayberry journalism staff.  I’m so proud of you and what you all are doing.  I’m afraid I don’t have long for this land, as they say, but it brings me such joy to see you young folks engaged in such an important and unique cause.  I talk about you and this project wherever I go.  When I’m at the hospital or at the doctors’ and when I can attend church services, I preach it by asking people in the same breath, what would Jesus do?  And what would Mayberry do?  I am proud to have been able to support you in this, and I will keep on supporting you ‘til the end.  Love, Grams.

Reply:  shelby.james@wwmd.com.  To my Grams—we ALL love you!  Thank you for your kind words and all of your support.  God bless you.

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